yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
