sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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