So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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