I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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