i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
