Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
