I've blown a few things in my day
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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