Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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