and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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