ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
