No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
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The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
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I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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