you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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