I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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