you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
