once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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