We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
