I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
