Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
