i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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