Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
