I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
