you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
