break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
