someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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