I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
