No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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