i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
