She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
zippers are such a cool invention
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
