everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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