Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
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Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
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got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
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