It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
we should paint friendship bongs
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
