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wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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