The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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