I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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