woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
