Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
