A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
