And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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