Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
