Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
