Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
