Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you had me at cake vodka
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
