I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Less talking, more tequila
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
