i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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