Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
