she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize