I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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