I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Someone signed my nipple.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
