I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh god it's open bar.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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