Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
