I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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