O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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