Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
smell my finger.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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