Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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