this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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